Coping Through Great Loss
“At dawn we held hands together and braced ourselves for the sun. Golden light washing over us, we became rain drops catching the glare. Refracting the light. Casting rainbows where shadows once stood. When day broke, we became us again.”
- Raven Schley
This is the poem that I wrote and had inscribed on the very last Christmas gift that I was ever able to give to my grandmother in December of 2019. Then one month later in January of 2020, she passed away.
It's hard to believe that just the month prior in December we had been sitting around the Christmas tree opening gifts and sharing warm smiles with each other. But now, as I look back, I am reminded of the bitter reality that I will only be able to reminisce on that smile for the rest of my life.
So, I find myself taking more time to pause and remember her these days. I read through her old bible and look at the notes that she left behind. Then I remember that if she were here, she would want me to smile and be happy.
So in the video below, I’m going to celebrate her in the way that I think would make her most proud- Through festive and joyful Christmas decor!
Watch Here:
—
When I think back over all of the Christmases that I’ve had the joy to experience with my granny, I realize that she’s actually taught me so much through this tradition- One of the first being, that holidays only have as much meaning as you are willing to invest in them.
Since my granny wanted ours to be special, she put in so much effort, time, and care. But it was all worth it, because it meant that she could cultivate a beautiful memory with her family that she loved.
She also taught me how to live with a generous heart.
I remember that she would shop for days in order to find gifts for everyone that she could think of. She didn’t want anyone to be forgotten. Then, she proceeded to buy an abundance of gifts for my mom and I, even if we told her she didn’t have to.
She would say, “I know I don’t have to. I want to.”
For her, this wasn’t a burden. It was a source of joy and happiness.
—
Lastly, my granny taught me the power of love. She showed me time and time again how it wasn’t just a word, but an action. It was how you treated people, and how you showed up for them in their lives. Beyond that, how it was ultimately a manifestation of God.
I think this is what sticks with me the most, especially now as I reminisce on the love that my granny gave to me. It was truly one in a million, and there are times when I think to myself, “how would I ever experience something like that again?”
But then I remember that this kind of love is actually still available to me, and it’s existence has predated the life of my granny and the whole world for that matter.
That’s what makes Christmas so special. It offers us all a chance to reflect on the great love that God made manifest to us through the birth of Jesus Christ.
—
In John 3:16 it says that, “God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” And this is the good news that we get to rejoice in every year on Christmas.
Although it may seem bittersweet, and grieving through any holiday is never easy, I will allow my heart to be light as I remember all of the good things about my granny, who was the sweetest sounding Christmas Carol around.
And if you’re grieving anyone this year, or any other sort of loss, know that you are not alone.
It’s okay to feel sad. But in the midst of that sadness, remember that it is also still okay to feel joy too.