Cultivating Resilience

Navigating through a crisis can feel a lot like trying to tread water in an ocean. We do what we can to stay afloat, but no matter how much energy we exert, it seems like the waves crash into us at the most inopportune moments. Furthermore, we become exhausted from trying to fight against the continued resistance. As human beings we know that moments of crisis come with the territory of living in a broken world, but that doesn’t stop it from hurting any less. So, the most important skill that we can learn to master is how we respond. While we can’t control everything that happens to us externally, we can choose how we want to show up, and as we rise to the occasion, we are able to build endurance. In this post, I want to have a candid conversation about how to navigate through a crisis and cultivate resiliency. My hope is that it would inspire you to continue on and to remember that God is able to work all things out for your good in the end.

Freedom to Lament

When the Covid-19 pandemic of 2020 hit our world I, like many others, struggled to make sense of life. Aside from being forced to lockdown in quarantine for months, struggling financially, grieving the loss of a loved one, and being anxious about my health, I lived in constant worry over the general trajectory of my life. It was easy for me to feel completely defeated in this state, and it was so frustrating when I was not able to figure it all out. It wasn’t until I took time to slow down and process, that I realized I had not been giving myself enough grace. I was experiencing multiple traumatic situations, and it was okay for me to not be okay. Sometimes it’s hard for us to remember because we just want to keep it together, but God actually leaves room in our relationship with him to not be okay, and we don’t have to feel bad about it. We can freely express when we feel sad or disappointed and trust that God will listen. Some of my favorite scriptures in the bible come from the psalms because they are so raw, and they teach us that it is okay to come to God in lament when we are hurting. For example, in Psalm 42:9 the author says,

“I say to God my Rock, Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”

Believers in biblical times weren’t afraid to express their pain to The Lord because they trusted that he would hear them. Furthermore, they remembered that God would bring deliverance to them eventually if they were patient enough to wait and have hope. This is a great reminder for believers today that we should always cast our burdens unto Jesus, because he really does care for us. Even when we are broken, The Lord still sees us.

Letting God In

Lamenting to God through prayer gives him an invitation into our situations, and while he may not fix everything immediately, he does promise to be there throughout the entire process. Also, when we come to him, he is able to grant a new perspective that we may not have considered before. This resonates with me the most whenever I think about my granny who passed away at the top of this year. Her death was a shock to all of us, and it really devastated my world because I never expected to lose her so soon. Then, to make things more ironic, on the day of her death my church decided to start a fast. I remember thinking to myself, “Really God?” I couldn’t understand what had just happened, and in that moment everything in me wanted to just give up. However, I decided to use it as an opportunity to lean in to God even more. Instead of quitting my fast, I stayed committed to it throughout the duration of the funeral preparations and service, and while it was such a painful experience to endure, I could feel the presence of God heavily around me the entire time. God showed me that If I was willing to make room for him in that tough life situation, he would meet me there with comfort, love, and peace.

Suffering and Perseverance

Suffering from time to time is to be expected as a christian, especially when we remember that Jesus himself had to suffer too during his lifetime. However, our suffering provides us with important lessons that help us grow in our faith, and it pushes us into deeper dependency on God. In Romans 5:3 it says,

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

By reading this, we understand that our ability to persevere actually produces fruit within us that takes the form of a stronger faith and deeper trust in God. So, we know that our suffering is never in vain.

Tips to Cultivate Resilience and Heal

1. Acknowledge Where it Hurts

2. Invite God Into That Hurt

Depending on how you perceive God, it may or may not feel strange to bring your hurt to him, but a really beautiful thing that I’ve always resonated with is that God actually leaves room in our relationship with him to not be okay, and we don’t have to feel bad about it. We can freely express when we feel sad or disappointed and trust that God will listen. Some of my favorite scriptures in the bible come from the psalms because they’re so raw, and they teach us that it is okay to come to God in lament when we are hurting. For example, in Psalm 42:9 the author says,

“I say to God my Rock, Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”

Believers in biblical times weren’t afraid to express their pain to The Lord because they trusted that he would hear them. Furthermore, they remembered that God would bring deliverance to them eventually if they were patient enough to wait and have hope. This is a great reminder that we should always cast our burdens unto Jesus, because he really does care for us. Even when we are broken, he still sees us.

3. Understand The Season You’re In

In Ecclesiastes 3 verses 1-8 the author says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” So, being able to discern what season of life you’re in will help you decide how to respond to life's trials. Sometimes we are on the mountain top and other times we are walking through the valley, but whether we are high or low, God is always with us.

4. Seek Direction

As I mentioned earlier, I am an introvert and in general, I tend to be more of a loner. However, while I love and value my individualism and often feel comfortable walking the road alone, I’ve come to understand that just because I have the capacity to walk alone, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s always wise to do so. This is why community is important even for the loner like me because every now and then, you just need guidance from someone who isn’t yourself. It’s also important to seek direction from God because when we look to him, he is able to grant us a new perspective that we may not have considered before.

God is willing to guide us if we are willing to seek him out, and trust that he will come through. So, I encourage you to ask him what he’s calling you to in the midst of whatever it is that you are facing and he will lead you in the path that you should go.

5. Lend A Healing Hand to Others

The last point that I’ll leave you with is that as we work towards cultivating resiliency and healing within ourselves, it should prompt us to also want to help others experience that same sense of breakthrough. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 the apostle Paul writes to the church in Corinth saying,

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”

So, in essence, we are blessed to be a blessing. When we choose to empathize with others and take care of them, even when we are going through our own circumstances, it becomes a manifestation of God’s kingdom on earth, and this is how he always intended for it to be. So, as you make space for yourself, remember to leave a little room for compassion towards others too.

I want to thank you again for being here. I’m so excited to begin this new journey and I hope you’ll join along for it too! So, until next time stay safe and be well.

The Compassion to Comfort Others

As we work towards cultivating resiliency and healing within ourselves, it should prompt us to also want to help others experience that same sense of breakthrough. In 2Corinthians 1:3-4 Paul writes to the church in Corinth saying,

So, we are blessed to be a blessing. When we choose to empathize with others and take care of them, even when we are going through our own circumstances, it becomes a manifestation of God’s kingdom on earth, and this is how God always intended for it to be. So, make space for others in the ways that you can no matter how big or how small.

Ways to show up for others